DON’T RUN: A Story of Biting More Than I Could Chew

Sooo… Context is everything and this particular one is purely sexual.

Side note: I only have two main contexts; Sexual and Financial.

We’re going to call the man Long Schlong because that has been my nickname for it him since he sent me a dick pic on Twitter (We do NOT use slave names in this house)

Anyway, I decided to go for it. All is fair in making love and war.

We had texted a lot and established that I was a switch with a preference for being a sub and he was a dom who liked to have his way. I chose a city that was kind of a middle ground for both of us as we lived over 2000kms away from each other.

It was going to be a 2 nights staycation where we both got to unwind. I told long schlong about a gig I had lost the day before link up and that after care would be important because I felt really down about it. I should have run when he said he was also going through something (He had the sniffles) too. LMAO

Yes losing a source of income and having 20% of a flu are definitely equal in gravity 😒

Anyway, I had the misfortune of arriving first as he willed it to be. I had showered and worn an easy access dress if you get my meaning.

Anyway, Long Schlong arrived over 4 hours later and OMG, the attitude and energy was so negatib=ve I nearly cried.

Nothing was to his satisfaction. Apparently, me asking for what was needed from the hotel but waiting for them to respond was me not being proactive enough for his royal highness. He was hungry (but didn’t want hotel food), cranky because of the trip (we spent equal number of hours on the road), pissed that the hotel was not 5 star, etc.

Basically, he was very displeased and it was obvious by the expression on his face.

Now, this is the part where I did not act like my usual self. I should have left. But like the Yorubas will say, “ori ti yoo jobe sisan, ti won ba fun legusi, aa t’omi si” To translate for the uninitiated; what will be will be.

Night came and we began what we have come into the room to do. It was a lot of fun and his tool was even more magnificent in person. No seriously, like the longest I’ve had or seen in real life.

After some foreplay and a little bit of fucking he wanted to do standing doggy and let me just say, in hindsight, I should have known better. I think now is a good time to describe Long Schlong to you. He’s a tall buff guy of Igbo descent. Strong as hell from a lot of going to the gym. Good looking and always well groomed. To summarize, a hunk of a man and you will probably want to lick him too.

Anyway, I bent over the couch for some support and then when he slid in, I instinctively shifted away because the female anatomy really was not designed for such length. Then he locked my arms behind my back and every stroke was punctuated with “don’t run”.

Advice for my ladies who struggle with larger coques, when it’s too much coque, increase your own pleasure. If you can, rub your clit and if your nipples are sensitive enough, play with those. This makes your body relax more and become even more lubricated so that you and your gentleman can maximize your pleasure.

That’s what I did 🙈. I reached for my clit and attacked it like we had beef (in that moment, we had huge beef, pun intended)

Before you know it, I had stopped running and then we went back to the bed and he came like he was dying…which I found extremely sexy.

The next day was a bit more fun and the day after…we broke new ground. I’ll probably tell y’all all bout that laterrrrr.

Anyway, a figurative trailer passed between us after this event and I don’t think there will be any further genital meet and greets between us. Can’t get excited about men. Sigh.

How I could have died: I have decided to make my vivid imagination your problem too

The tricycle I took going to the bus park (after the fornication staycation) was moving behind a water tanker that seemed to be really struggling for every turn of the wheels. We were heading up an incline, and I imagined that that water tank driver lost control, and crushed the tricycle I was in, but the driver was spared and I jumped out.

As soon as I jumped out, checking my body for injuries and being grateful for life, another car that was overspeeding on the other lane just cleared me off the road and now I’m dead for real and this is why fornication is bad. Don’t do it.

Some parts of this story have been embellished for dramatic effect.