Overcoming Relationship Challenges

Love is a beautiful journey full of unforgettable moments, but it also has its share of challenges. Obstacles that put your love, trust, and commitment to the test are inevitable in any relationship.

Even the strongest of relationships can face difficulties; the issue is always how you deal with them. Internalising disappointments and fury will only lead to further resentment, but because effective communication may be difficult to learn, it can sometimes feel that bottling up emotions is the easier option. 

How can you go past difficulties in a Relationship?

• Talk. State your problem. The other person might not even realize you are dissatisfied for some reason.
• Try to not play the blame game. If feasible, state the situation rather than how you believe the other person is to blame. In my situation, changing the wording from, “Why didn’t you take out the garbage last night?” to, “Hey, how come you forgot to take out the garbage last night?” made a significant difference. I recognise that this is simple in comparison to some’real’ concerns, but attempting to understand rather than directly accusing/confronting might result in a shift in tone that benefits both parties.
• Talk about yourself, not the other person. Just as we can’t control others’ actions, only our own, we should also focus on our feelings. “This is how I feel” vs. “This is what you do”.
• Try to find a middle ground. Can you make a small compromise? Will it make a good difference in your relationship? Consider whether it is ethical and emotionally realistic for you to do so.
• Treat your partner like a partner, not an opponent. I know it seems apparent, but we frequently forget when we take opposing positions. Don’t allow ego or fury get the best of you. Do not cut off your nose to spite your face.
• Stay calm. People mirror emotions. Your partner will be more inclined to talk calmly if you don’t come out swinging.
• Don’t be mean. Again, obvious, but we are human, and we forget. No name calling, no bringing up other issues that are not relevant to the problem, no ad hominem attacks and no tit for tat. Stick to the issue on hand. One problem at a time.
• Be nice. Actively be nice. Work on things together. It’s easier said than done, but someone has to get the ball rolling.
• Don’t wait when feeling a moment of grace.This is really personal for me, but it may work for you. I used to be the champion of marathoning fury! When my partner and I quarrel, the second I feel a soft spot develop (typically because he’s lumping around the house looking sad and things), I rush to him and ask, “Do you want to fight?” Of course, he says no! He is a sucker for me! Instead of staying firm and fuming, I seize the chance to ease the situation. Then we chat about it at leisure.

Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs along the way. But with patience,understanding, and a willingness to work through challenges, you can build a strong and lasting relationship.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in a relationship? Share your story in the comments below.